Sunday, December 25, 2011

One of this will do me fine







Chain Around Messenger

Nora Danish has one. actually, it was my first CHANEL crush..and it's back! Was so disappointed when i found out it was discontinued

Yang, get me one for Christmas!

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Misi

People might have noticed that I now have more free time. I'm always on the net, always commenting on facebook and yes, my blog appears more kept than before.

In times like this, my mind wanders..especially after that cup of coffee, it's like the molecules in my brain are working extra fast and hard.

This morning, i'm thinking of my next to do on the list. I have been studying hard ( sounds rubbish) and working hard ( not that i can afford not to). So, i decided, enough with the serious stuffs. I probably had done plenty for the next 6 moths.

I'm thinking holidays guys!

I am not going to be young forever. There will become a time where i can't afford to carry myself across the room without huffing and puffingg, holding onto my son's arms with my bad hips and creaking knees( my son?haha)

So my next go to destinations are ( in no particular order):

1. Bali ( because wverybody have been..and, they have the private swimming pool as in Fullhouse)
2. South Korea ( duh, because of Fullhouse and Winter Sonata)
3. Tokyo ( it would be a pity if I reach my 60s without reaching Tokyo..one can only hope)

Will think some more after i get back from work. I also of course want to go to Macca..but that not a holiday of course

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Life and death

When you work in a hospital, you would see deaths almost everyday..

But I have to say, it never was easy and it will not get any easier

I remember in medical school how they taught how you to break bad news. Complete bull**ks.

No matter what words you use, it still hurts and it won't change a single thing.

You have cancer and you will die. Bottomline.

I was crying my eyes out just now watching the last episode of Hani ( which ended ages ago I know)

Which is strange because if I were to do the same in real life, I would be sacked ages ago.

Iremember being brought in to my boss's office one day after a patient of ours died. This was when I was working in Palliative team and we were expecting this man to die for weeks. He has pancreatic cancer which metastases everywhere; gut, lungs, liver, brain..you name it, it practically went to every organ in his body. In other words, for him to survive would be a miracle.

I came in to work that morning to found out he had passed earlier in the morning. The priest had been, he was disconnected from all the tubes and oxygen masks and was ready for the morgue. We went in to his room to say our condolescence to the family and everybody went around his bed except me. I was standing at the far corner of the room without realising I had done so.

My boss called me in to his office just after 5 and we were all ready to leave. Now He was a German and has this very cute accent with a face very much like a santa claus ( very cute ok!).
He started talking about how difficult being a physician is, and sometimes you can get too attached to a patient. and I can't help but cried like a baby in front this man who I know nothing about outside of work. And I had never in my entire life shed a tear in front of a stranger ( kecuali time kecik2 la, time tu nanges macam x hengat bagai). That was my first and also my last time crying over a death of a patient. It's not because I'm a better doctor than I was. I think it's because I recognise when to distance myself away from becoming too emotionally attached.

I don't always succeed. I had an elderly woman who came to clinic once, and she was perfect. Ok, apart from diabetes, hypertension and high cholestrol, she was. But she just had to tell me about living with her daughter in law who runs a tight ship in the house ( which was actually hers) and a son who just follows around what the crazy woman says. In her own words, a 'bully'.
Of course, I had to go home and think about the poor woman all night long. All i did for her was give her a prescription and took some blood tests. I find it cruel. Me knowing all these going on in her life and not doing anything about it.

I'm sure there are worst case senario than that. But it is strange what sticks to your heart. A person can do so much to you than you can possibly imagine.

Right. Here I am blabbering and dinner is nowhere beyond ready. What i really want to say is life is precious. Wait. That doesn't fit with my story about the poorly lady. Fine.
What I want to say is, sad things happens to everybody. Sometimes you see their exterior and thinks God I wish i had his life. Stop that. You don't know their issues and problems, they might have been wishing they had your life instead. And, don't be a busybody trying to figure out and help other people's life too much..you might get hurt.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Lazy Sunday

Everybody knows weekend only comes 2 days a week

Which means its so short

Tolak tambah time oncall and what not, boleh bilang ngan jari je free weekends in a year

What I'm trying to say is, rugi lar kalau you let your weekend go to waste ie by sleeping sampai pukul 3 petang ( talking to myself here)

So i decided to wake up extra early to ENJOY my weekend ( by early I mean pukul 10)

And guess what I wake up to?

People out on the streets, decorating their houses with christmas lights. Pftt!

I don't hate Christmas, by all means you can spend your weekend buying christmas presents and new sofas and that huge LCD TV

But my God I hate Christmas lights..the pure reason being it reminds me so much of Hari Raya

I am not bothered at all spending Hari Raya here, because it hardly feels like Raya.

You would still be working, people all around you still wears shirts and shorts, and children still go off to school

But during Christmas, Tv would run re-runs of last years movie all day long, people wake up extra early to go to church and visiting families and you can almost hear children screaming happily opening their presents

So..depressing

Anyway, off topic dah ni

I just want to show you all my weekend...







Ayam masak merah yang akhirnya jadi ayam masak kicap








Kari terung takder rupa kari







Blueberry cheesecake


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Soulmates

Sometimes you do take things for granted..or people even


Yesterday, I stumbled upon this blog That in a way i wish i shouldn't have

The blogger punyer entries were mostly about her late husband

And the words are very sharp and honest, you almost feel the pain she felt as you,re reading them

they were her daily struggle, day by day living without her soulmate. She would talk about emptiness, about being incomplete, and then at times she would remember the things the husband did for her, what he would've done now if he's around

It was so heartbreaking, but i just have to read them entries per entries because i was so captivated by her feelings

And of coirse, being a medical person, i need to find out by he passed away ( which is silly i know)

I didn't cry, but my heart bled for her

I just can't imagine if the same were to happened to me

..i might not do very well

Truth is, if i were to lose him, i'd rather by separation...simply because i'd rather hate him rather lose him forever. Life would be more bearable that way

I sat in bed for hours last night, thinking about us

Then mr hubby called from offshore and i almost expect that it would turn into a bickering like always

Surprisingly, that didn't happened. Instead, his words took my breath away that i always shed a tear on the phone ( i don't think he realised this, Thank God!)

..' do u realise that I love you? I couldn't imagine living one day without loving you...'

Maybe your hubbies say this kind of cheesy and romantic words often girls, but not mine. Our conversation when he's away working is mostly bickering ( which i must admit i do miss sometimes) and at times ended by a short 'i love you' by him before hanging up

Maybe it was coincidental, but I would like to think that we were soulmates too, we can understand each other even miles apart

Marriage is not easy, even if you're a pair of lovebirds who've known each other for years

You not only marry each other, you also marry off your families as well

And then come the money issues, the hectic work schedule, etc

Ok. Why so emo pagi 2x ni? Nway, i'm starting today differently, and i will not watch 'the ghost' or 'the notebook' or those kind of soapy things for at least a week thank you

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Istanbul

I know i kept going on and on about Turkey, but it seems like a waste not to post these pictures up

( in no particular order because I couldn't be bothered)
























































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Monday, December 12, 2011

Hal rumah tangga

Some people just have the ability to adapt and adjust like a 'sesumpah'

Throw them in a swamp and they can survive and breed

How I wish I am one of them

My natural ablities doesn't extend beyond the context of work and studying
( if even that)

It's hard to believe sometimes that I'm married and a mum

Sometimes I have to slap myself (in my head la) that the person pushing Mia - chan's stroller is my husband..ok, him being the 'chipsmore' husband ( sekejap ada, sekejap takder..geddit?)
probably doesn't help

I mean, who would imagine I would live with a guy, sharingg the same bathroom no less. Like, euww!

But I guess you can't fight nature

Boy meets girl, get married, have kids, get old and die- that's life in a nutshell

Last november marked our 2 year of married life together ( plus minus the time him working away- that i won't put into equation la)

Like seriously?

2 freakin' years!

And i still can't get accustomed to it

This is blind territory for me

I guessed my parents realized from the get go that I will only do well in school and well, pretty much sucks in everything else

Like tiny weeny simple things like lipat kain, iron baju, cooking, menyapu, mop lantai..and the list goes on

And i'm not the world's best in being a wifey either

Susah sungguh to obey and angguk time your husband bagi nasihat..i just have to give my two cents jugak!

Oh I don't know what to do anymore

I remember a few years ago making decisions at the very last minute and it doesn't matter at the slightest..because who is it going to affect? Myself je pon

Now everything have to be planned, and then you have to discuss, sometimes you do the meaningless bickering which more often than not leads to nowhere, and the you have to re- think, then you have to debate your point again macam dalam Pertandingan Pidato Perdana and lastly you just give in out of pure 'I couldn't care less anymore'

So...complicated

But I figured obviously I am not the only one with this problem

Husbands and wives all around the world must be dealing with this everyday

Truth is, maybe you will never adjust

(And maybe i will never bit my lip and angguk2x macam burung belatuk)

But

I am re- programming my brain to think like a couple, do things like a couple, make decision with each other and of course, UNITE not bicker!

Sekian ceramah rumah tangga dari counsellor x bertauliah ini.





- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Oak Glynn,Naas,Ireland

Dubbokki






Eh betul ke eja?

My weekend experiment

Dubbokki a.k.a Hot and Spicy Korean Rice Cakes

I followed the recipe from a you tube channel

Maangchi ke apatah namanya

Ok. You would've guessed I have no idea what i was doing

It turned out ok la..( right, i was obviously blabbing..I've never tasted dubbokki or what ever it name is)

But, i decided I'm giving myself a 3 and a half star (3 for effort)

While I only ate about a small bowl of these and the rest are in my fridge hibernating, I have quickly realised that I'm never making them again

Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Oak Glynn,Naas,Ireland

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Mia and daddy








Mia chan misses her daddy

Mummy pulak yang susah hati..

The little one is not sleeping well..very hard to fall asleep, usually after mummy dah merajuk dan buat tak tahu baru nak tido

Rasa macam bergaduh dengan anak sendiri kekadang

But I just have to remind myself, the real reason for all these misfits is that she's missing her daddy

I have to calm down and believe that it will get better

Orang tua2x kata Jadik parents ni kena tahan sabar banyak2x

Baru ku tahu kebenaran kata2x ini..



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Oak Glynn,Naas,Ireland

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Of get aways and brighter weather ( and good food)


Oh in a weather like this, you just wish you are somewhere else

Sambil keje sambil berangan of Istanbul, of Rome, of Barcelona..of Paris! (why didn't I studied medicine in Paris?..tempat Lahir CHANEL tu doh)

And the gorgeous food..I'm sick of scone- macam duk zaman batu dah rasanya duk makan roti keras hari2x

I present my food journal in Istanbul...





Prawn casserole





Beef dengan nasik. Nasi dia wangi sangat, rasanya sodap!







Beef steak
- macam jakun je gi Istanbul makan steak ngan fries








Ottoman punya dish
-terung, nasi, beef, sayur ( dah stail diaorang ni suka makan sayur..layankan jelah)






Honey real punyer! Makan dengan sweet pancakes







Turkish Tea
- laki ku suka ya amat. Kena tipu ngan pak Arab..haha







Mia-chan why ternganga tengok food? Hehe

Tapi all these food cannot beat one dish

...bihun goreng my mum

Makan panas2x dengan keropok

Seperti kata Mia- chan, yummy yummy!


Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Oak Glynn,Naas,Ireland

The In The Business Flap






Verdict?

OK lah..

Cheaper, more light weight and bigger of a few inches

But it's not the Classic CHANEL Flap that I've been dreaming for years

Pftt!

I need to wake up fast

Tak dak duit tapi kuat berangan

Bila la nak dapat bag of my dreams ni..the bigger question is, will i ever get it?

Tiba-tiba rasa sedih :(

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Oakfield Heights,Naas,Ireland

Dinner tonight


Let's be honest here

I am no domestic goddess.

Once upon a time if you mentioned to my dad that i'm cooking , he would without a doubt gelak guling2x atas karpet

Even now, after being married and with a kid ( besar dah anak Cikgu nih) i don't think that he can quite believe that i cook for my family

Either that, or he thinks that my poor husband is being tormented by my horrible cooking every single day

..he is not that far from the truth

You can't turn a pauper to be a king

But i am trying ok? You have to give me some pointers for that at least

Behold our dinner for tonight







Seafood fucilli with chili tomato sauce
(other name- pasta masak dengan sos peket segera)








Accompanied by chicken nuggets masak dengan Actifry ( Actifry ajer sekarang haha)








You have to have dessert. Tonight we're having Mini Apple Pies bought from Centra across the road

Mia-chan, mummy might never win Masterchef, but I can certainly cheat around cooking

Menantu saper la ni..hehe


Thank God I live in 2011!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Oak Glynn,Naas,Ireland

The Actifry



Actifry ni baru beli masa sale kat Kildare Village aritu

It's a fryer but you only need a spoonful of oil for cooking. Nak sihat la katakan.

Don't know why I'm uberly excited nak buat review pasal benda ni. It's a fryer je pon

..sebab boring sangat kot





Inilah rupanya..





Put in chicken, little bit of oil and close the lid. Set timer and wait.

Macam rancangan masak memasak pulak neh





See the chicken inside? What you don't see is them spinning round..eh takkan nak buat video pulak..terlebih over dah tu








Tadaa...

Masak!

Rasanya x Lah sesedap chicken yang ko goreng dengan minyak sebaldi tuh.. Tapi ni healthy duh

Hmmph dengar ambulance dah..tulah sapa suh duduk dekat sangat ngan hospital.

Kena keje girls

Babai!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Oakfield Heights,Naas,Ireland

Miserable day

The weather outside is horrible! Dah macam ribut taufan dah. How on earth do you expect 'me' to go working today?
Na'ah.

Not doing it

Right. Macam la ada orang prihatin dengan keadaan ku ini.

Patients kat hospital x nak balik2x. Why oh why la irish people like staying in a hospital bed. Tau tak semalam ko duduk kat situ beribu riban government ko rugi?
No wonder the recession.

Apehal lak emo pagi2x ni?

Malas nak gi keje doh..

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Oak Glynn,Naas,Ireland

Sunday, December 4, 2011

obsessed

I admit it. I have been overly obsessed with iPad. For a tech-dummy like me, that's a rare statement to come by.

I have found that iPad is not a waste of money after all. I have been so fascinated by it that i haven't been using my laptop for the last 3 week...that until my Blogpress software broke down. Pfttt.

So I'm back to the old fashion netbook and I'm glad i haven't convert to iPad for everything. It is handy alright, but i still need my ACER.

While mostly everything on the net has an iPad app, but not as yet is the  Louis Vuitton website. A real bummer.

I am going to wait patiently for the rest of the world to discover iPad and hence more and more app to be developed for it. And yes, i'm not the only person in the house who's been captivated by this little piece of technology.. Mia-chan uses it for youtube and online baby games while having her breakfast this morning. Finally, something to keep her still on the baby chair.