Paradise

I had a rough time at work today.

Horrible.

I really don't want to talk about it.

So I came home, and found that things are not much better here.

I messed up.

I'm being horrible in every-thing. I've had days like this before, countless time. But I thought I've gotten better in managing time.

I was wrong.

I have been neglecting my family and..my self. Imagine going to the shop to buy Kotex (it's that time of the month go figure), and finally came out with nothing but a bottle of coke! My mind is elsewhere I'm telling you. I don't know where it's gone to most of the time, but it certainly is not here.

Now I'm watching my baby sleeps, and for the first time today I am actually focusing on her. There are so many things I wanted to do for her, but haven't got round to..or had simply forgotten. Just because I'm always pre-occupied with something more important.

I haven't talked to my mother in 2 weeks (or more). She's just a phone call away, and yet I didn't even get to dial her number.

What in the world could be more important than your family??

I wanted to serve people, but I'm wondering whether by doing so I am actually being selfish. Selfish enough to put my first priority to second place.

I've actually fallen asleep in the middle writing this post. I was lucky enough to not have dropped the laptop on the floor. Yes I am that tired.

Last night I was bedridden with migraine attack (I rarely get them!), and was saved by Ponstan..off to work I go in the early hours of this morning. I'd fallen asleep the night before without saying good night to my babies, I din't get a chance to see whether kakak had done her homework (actually I can't remember the last time I got the chance to do this) and this morning while changing adik, I noted she had developed a really bad nappy rash because I didn't change her nappy overnight.

Facepalm.

Today I learnt that my sister had a migraine attack too and she had gotten MC.

MC.

It didn't even cross my mind. Not even once.

My hand phone is on charge. I carry it everywhere..even to the toilet. I have had more body contact with my phone than with my 6 month old. I have been talking to it more than to my kakak, or my husband.

I'm always on standby, even on days that I'm not oncall. Just in case people couldn't get through the one who's oncall, so here's me, always ready to serve.

I don't even like my job. In fact, I hated it.

So why so religiously doing it?

Yesterday the band Yellow performed their hit song Paradise on air. I was singing to it on my way to work.

Work is not my Paradise.

I need a vacation. Preferably somewhere without network coverage.

3 years anniversary of D-day!!

Sometimes regret comes knocking at my door, but then I threw it out through the window.

I've managed to calm myself from constantly chasing something..job position, wealth, etc. Sometimes when I look at pictures in Facebook of fellow friends that took a different path, that pang of regret is still there ( a tiny bit hehe) but I realised that we can't be excellent in everything. I'm tired of chasing, i want to settle down and enjoy my time with family.

Look up, then you will always be thinking that you're missing something. Look down, and you will see the people that are less fortunate than you, and thus will appreciate your life more.

This is enough for me. Alhamdulillah

My dream house

Going through pictures of designs for my dream house. .

I have saved these pictures in my laptop since we bought this apartment. Sayang pulak nak rent out after looking at all these. I haven't got round to furnish it yet because we have moving to different places so many times last year. A few extra bucks would've transform it to any of the above. Ah sayangnyer!

Trying times

Since coming home to Malaysia, I didn't manage to save at all from my monthly salary. True story. 

In fact, I've never felt this 'poor' in my entire life-financially I mean. Ok. Of course I am thankful that we are living in a peaceful country, eating good food and having a roof over our heads (syukurlah Malaysia masih aman).

However, the cost of living in the city nowadays is beyond ridiculous. I don't know how people manage because I find it extremely hard to do so. Our loans are increasing and there's always a balance in my credit cards account (and they are hefty amounts). I mean, that's my way of surviving, making more debts every months. 

In the end, I'm left with zero saving, overdue credit card payment..and a headache.

So, yesterday for the first time I've decided to go through our monthly expenses and find out where we went wrong.

Expenses (pre-GST if I may add):

1. house loan                                                           rm2000

2. house maintanence                                              rm220

3. maid                                                                    rm600

4. bills (astro, eletricity, mobile, internet,etc)        rm650

5. groceries                                                             rm1000

6. Mia's school                                                       rm300

7. petrol                                                                  rm500

8. tol                                                                       rm200

9. car loan (myvi)                                                  rm500

10. house rent in Bentong                                     rm700

11. parking                                                            rm170

12. water filter                                                      rm110

13. personal insurance                                          rm530

Total expenses: rm7580!

That does not include monthly incentives to my parents (sometimes I fail this because I ran out early. OMG I feel so guilty), daily lunch expenses and of course eating-out. 

Sometimes, things are not always smooth sailing..unexpected expenses will pops out- broken gadgets/appliances/car that needed fixing, car insurance/tax, etc.

So what's left for shopping and savings? Not much I'm telling you.

I'm looking to cut down as many expenses as possible, but actually there's not much that can go. Ok, maybe we can live off astro, cut down a bit on groceries.. but that is it. Unless we give up the house for rent (that's about r1800 something), we will continue to be in a deep bottomless pit. I threw out the idea to dear husband last night (renting out the apartment), and I know he's a bit reluctant to do so. This means that he will have to commute daily to work (nearly one and a half hour's drive per trip) and we will no longer have our sanctuary in KL. This apartment is our dream house, our happy place...(not to mention we have spent around 20k on renovations and appliances last year for it)

Of course, we may not want too, but that's our only option at the moment. 

Urghh..I woke up feeling low this morning. I'm worried about the future...

Oh yeah, the laptop broke down this morning too, just to add to our misery..

Wishlist for 2015 (the one that I shouldn't have)

For 2015, I've decided to make it short since this is the year that I'm determined to save (so was last year and the year before and the one before that. Sigh)

2015 is also the year I planned to send both of my parents off to Umrah, Insyaallah. So, in actual fact I shouldn't be having this list at all. But since I already got my bag of the year (or at least I hope so), maybe we can squeeze in a couple of items before 2016 (2016 is my year of being more stable financially I hope)

2 key items I'm wanting this year..

1. Hermes Clic Clac

2. Salvatore Ferragamo shoes

Here's hoping..

SAHM

I never thought I would seriously consider this option one day. I suppose life is never what you expected it to be. 2 months into being a mother of two, I realised that I may not have it covered as I thought.

We recently hire a maid from Indonesia and mistakenly thought that it would solve our problems. Well in actual fact, it brings in a lot of other problems.

She's constantly on the phone, talking to her 'child' as she claimed.

Today I took some time on the net, sorting out bills and searching for house to rent for our upcoming move to Bentong. When I got out of the room, I happen to find my eldest crying by herself in the hall. Our maid had left her outside whilst she and the baby was in her room and she was talking on the phone!

Not only that, my daughter claimed that the maid had hit her! Now my 5 year-old is one with many tricks since the new arrival of her sister, but I can't imagine her making up stories such as this. So I confronted her, and she of course strongly denied doing so. There was no marks or bruises, so I have to let the matter rest (for now).

Deep inside, I was panicking. This is not working! What in the world should I do?

Of course, I can install CCTV all over the house, but will it be enough?

What's more with the husband working away from Bentong, it would be impossible to commute daily. Both of us will be extremely busy once I start working, so who will be looking after the children?

All of my plans are shattered, broken.

Career vs the safety and wellbeing of my children..it was so obvious what's the right thing to do- QUIT!

...

Conteng muka

Gloves on 24/7 after this dik..


Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

'Manis'nya Cinta di Cappadocia

"Perkahwinan itu satu perjudian, tak semua berhak mencapai kebahagiaan"-

kak Aida

I could go on forever about life, marriage and men. Haha

And to think that I was once a girl who's only dream was to fall in love, get married and eventually have children (Ok, exaggerating a bit. That was not my ONLY dream of course)

"Ku sangka kan panas berpanjangan, rupanya gerimis mengundang"- Zamani SLAM

Life after marriage is not all smiles, it doesn't stop after 'I Do's' and it's not just about the two of yous.

I guess that's what the writer tried to convey to her readers. Kak Aida had the downside on her marriage-useless, two-timing husband; financial problems and to top it all..along comes the big C.

But because it happens to her, doesn't mean that it will be the same for everybody. Manisnya Cinta di Cappadocia is not all sweet, it comes with a LOUD point.

You have to take chances...and in return, to give them to those deserving.

It's not all hot air balloons and sunny spells out there..but hey, be brave. Some people are worth more than what they seemed.

( like Shaheizy Sam, once upon a time his face would not even be considered for lead role, but hey Bernard Chauly gave him a chance and it was well deserved. hehe)




Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

How did I let this go on for so long

I'm thinking of an organizer. I mean new year, new beginnings, new baby..

Maybe it's time to be more organized and more in control of my life.

Considering how upsidedown my life had been in 2014, I figured 2015 needs a BIG intervention.

Don't get me wrong, I have achieved so much in this year alone Alhamdulillah; hence it's time I focus on other things aside from medicine.

..definitely getting an organizer next time I'm in town.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

OMG! OMG! I am super Bored!

I knew this is coming since my pregnancy test kit became positive some months ago. Confinement is the period I hate most. Some many Dos and Don'ts..even the internet couldn't cure my boring-ness.

However, these are some of the things I do on the net these days:

1. Watch Korean Dramas online

Before the baby arrived, I was addicted to this drama:

Ceriterernya lebih kurang cenggini:
Hero dia berdendam dengan wartawan sebab buat cerita mengenai ayah dia. Disebabkan cerita yang tak betul tu a.k.a gossip, mak dia bunuh diri dan family dia porak peranda. Tapi nak dijadikan cerita, last2 bila dah besar dia jadi wartawan jugak. Some more, heroin dia ni anak kepada wartawan yang dia benci-bencikan dulu.

All was good until I was admitted to the hospital and was oncall every night with the baby, so I ended up missing a couple of episodes. Lepas tu, I couldn't find time to re-start watching and of course dah lose interest la jugak.


2. Lazada online shopping


Hmm..I managed to snagged off a couple of make-up brushes and a nursing bra. Nak beli banyak-banyak, takut tak padan so kita try test dulu. Hehe. The items haven't arrived yet so I am excited!

3. Browsing Lifestyle blogs


Among lifestyle bloggers that I'm currently following:

-hanis zalikha

-namee roslan

-blog mengenai pantang http://kisahqaseh.blogspot.com/2014/08/my-lipstick.html

-proudduck.com


4. Cuci mata di purseforum.com

Belan-belan melayan keinginan nak ber-beg baru yang tak dapat-dapat. HUHu

5. Cari make-up di Luxola.com

Sejak dua menjak ni tiba-tiba berkehendak pulak nak bermake-up tapi tak der skill. So duk cari-cari lah beginner's guide to make-up skill kat youtube dan seumpamanya.

Tapi sebenarnya, nak bermake-up pun tak boleh, yelah sekarang ni kan I under house arrest. Damn.


6. Cari jubah best 

Nak jugak cari dress, peplum top ke, skirt mermaid ke..tapi sedar-sedar diri lah ko tu baru lepas beranak. Lemak dan stretch marks bertempek-tempek. Hopefully pakai jubah takderlah nampak sangat kan. Tapi yang tak bestnya bila jadi cenggini:

spoil mood betul!

7. Layan tonton.com.my

Tengok cerita melayu la kita orang melayu. Haha. Tapi banyak drama melayu sekarang 18SX. Budak-budak takleh tengok. Jalan cerita dah best, pastu nak jugak diselitkan scene2 atas katil, berpeluk-peluk bagai. Hish tak suka I.


8. Membuang masa di youtube

Haa..yang ni paling banyak buat. Tengok tutorial belit-belit tudung, tutorial cara pakai make-up, product review, 'what's in my bag' video dan kadang-kadang layan lagu-lagu oldies cam Backstreet boys, Westlife etc (oldies ke tu? hehe)

9. Cari baju

Walaupon konfirm-konfirm tak muat, gatal jugak nak cari baju online. So cari kat website-website ni:

10. Tengok movie online di yify.tv. 

Yang ni tak try lagi sebab kena meng'download' app apa bagai.

Post partum blues

I totally get why some people get post-partum blues, depression or even psychosis. Medically, we tend to associate it with lower social class, family problems and predisposing individual factors like family history or past history of psychiatric illness.

However, that is not to say that 'normal' people are immune to it. Personally, I think we Asians are more susceptible to it. I'm sorry to say that I will attribute it again to our culture and social norms, and it's easy to understand why once you in a post-partum woman's shoes.

Case in point is 'mua' self. Hehe. Currently I am elegantly clad in T-shirt perfumed by stale breast milk and kain sarung lying in bed at 2 in the afternoon. And did I mention my best friend? the infamous bengkung. Yeah, I'm feeling ever so glamorous.

my 'modern' bengkung

Not only that, I am also a prisoner in my own home. My only function is to look after the baby and of course to obey the 'berpantang' rules-avoid sitting/walking too long, no tripping over stuffs, no ice, etc. I haven't stepped outside of the front door since the day we came back from the hospital; I think I must be vitamin D deficient by now. The only people I have contact with are my family and the baby. My source of information from the outside world are the television and internet-Thank God for technology!

Gone also my excitement of food-I am currently on a strict diet consists of rice and grilled fish. Everyday. This will of course ultimately leads to my worse enemy-constipation and haemorrhoids.


Now all of these served one purpose, that is to help women get back their pre-pregnancy shape and health (according to my mother la). Although I find it hard to become 'kurus' again with minimal activity and eating rice everyday. Right now, I'm desperately craving for Cadbury chocolate bar, which I rarely do in the usual days. I just hope I don't gain more than my pregnancy weight and somehow miraculously get rid of stretch marks on my hips, belly, bum, etc..

Still on the hunt for the perfect bag

The above was a papparazzi picture of Charlize Theron straight off a plane playing mum-sy with her gorgeous 'Stella McCartney Fallabella bag'. The world is so not fair especially for us Asians. Not only we're shorter in comparison to these movie stars, they also also have sharper nose. Haha.

The thing that I probably missed most about Dublin is my accessibility to new handbags. The change of currency, my wage plus additional custom taxes made everything much more expensive on this part of the world.

Some more, up to very recently it was very hard to get access to the internet. Thank heavens for Unifi, now I get to go on purseblog.com much more often teehee. What surprised me was how detached I've been from the handbag world- for example how come I've missed the Louis Vuitton Cappucines arrival? So gorgeous walaweii..and of course so UN-affordable (*shed tears).

Any how, I refused to let any of these obstacles to prevent me from buying THE new perfect bag that I rightfully deserved..I just have to find other alternatives that won't break my bank account.

With my new upgrade of title to a mother of two, I really need a hands-free bag that's big enough to fit in my babies accesories. Contrary to my previous post, I don't think buying a Storksak to serve as nappy bag/ work bag fits my lifestyle. I mean, if I am to invest in a good quality bag, I'm better off buying a bag that I truly love because it means that I will use it more often.

03.12. 2014

I'm sorry because my 'iman' tak kuat. Sebab tak kuat tu lah I mengamuk kat my beloved Iman. Padahal I wasn't angry at her. I was angry at the person who put me in this position; tired and acting like an idiot giving all I have to please him.

That's right. A lot of us women are idiots. We keep repeating the same foolishness to please. When it's finally too much, we vented on the people we most loved and care about. Stupidity knows no boundaries I guess.

I finally face the truth of being a woman in Malaysia. Bounded by culture and family rules- my mother comes first and yours later..why? Because syurga I di bawah tapak kaki mak I whereas your syurga di bawah tapak kaki I. In other words, he meant my syurga is di bawah tapak kaki him and his mother. Oh Lord.

I am doing the same work load as a typical male does with the energy of a 9-month old pregnant lady. And I worry the same shit as any male does- money, security and the future. Because I work in the medical field, other male at work look at me with sympathy as I struggle to climb the stairs or even walk a distance, whereas others are plain idiots or just pretending to be one. Why bother when I don't complain? So my conclusion is, I did this to myself. I allow people to degrade and use me so that I can fit in. Or maybe, his love for me is not strong enough to at least acknowledge the sacrifices I did for him-my beauty, my money and my pride. I was fooled by his promises to mark and elevate me as his Queen. I was never a Queen, far from that fairy-tale ending my fate lies (and they promote higher education to produce high achieving citizens..well maybe for men, because we will only ended up in the kitchen cleaning soots and dusts looking ugly. God knows, I've heard that saying too many times)

In fact, in the end my fate may not be much different from Mah who went viral on Facebook recently. She was called smelly, fat and disgusting by her own man who was two-timing her for nearly 7 years. Mark this day I will, for if I ever come close to that ending then I at least knew that it's coming for quite a while..and of course I won't blame any man for it, because we can never blame them as we would be sinners duh.. It is always us at fault, the idiots.

Because Sharing Is Caring

Jumpa lagi checklist baby. Just nak share kat sini.

Untuk Ibu

1) Kad Lawatan Hospital/Kad Merah

2) Kad Pengenalan

3) Telefon Bimbit

4) Baju/Blouses -5

5) Stokin - 2

6) Kain Batik -3

7) Baju/Seluar Dalam - 5

8) Skaf Kepala/Ki - 2

9) Peralatan Mandi (Pencuci Muka, Berus Gigi, Ubat Gigi)

10) Majalah/Buku

11) Tuala Mandi

12) Maternity Pad/Pad Biasa - 1 pek

13) Tuala Muka - 1

14) Selipar -1

15) Kamera

16) Air/Minyak Selusuh

17) Minyak Angin

18) Air Zam Zam

19) Makanan/Minuman (Air Masak/Susu/Milo/Horlicks, Buah Kurma, Biskut, Roti)

20) Termos Air Panas

21) Bag Plastik

22) Baju Sejuk (Sweater) -1

23) Sikat -1

24) Breast Pad - 4

25) Nursing Bra - 4

Untuk Bayi

1) Baby Diapers - 6

2) Baju - 3

3) Minyak Telon - 1

4) Baby Wipes/Wet Tissue

5) Tuala Mandi - 1

6) Stokin/Sarung Tangan Bayi - 4

7) Peralatan Mandi

8) Selimut/Bedung - 3

9) Barut - 5

10) Topi - 1

Keperluan Berpantang - Berpantang (Untuk Ibu) 

1) Jamu/Set Lepas Bersalin

2) Stokin

3) Baju Sejuk

4) Tungku

5) Selimut

6) Selipar

7) Buku/Majalah

8) Kain Batik

9) Bengkung/Barut

10) Maternity Pad/Pad Biasa

11) Bantal Lapik Duduk (Memberi Keselesaan Akibat Jahitan Luka)

12) Kerusi Toilet (Perlu Kalau Tandas Cangkung di Rumah)

13) Minyak Angin/Urut

14) Makanan/Minuman (Air Masak, Susu, Buah-buahan Segar, Ribena, Prune, Biskut, Roti)

Baby Gear - Baby Gear

1) Baju- Lengan Pendek - 8

2) Baju- Lengan Panjang - 6

3) Romper - 2

4) Seluar- Pendek - 8

5) Seluar- Panjang - 6

6) Sarung Tangan - 5

7) Sarung kaki - 5

8) Baby Bip - 2

9) Sapu Tangan - 3

10) Barut - 10

11) Topi

Diapering

1) Napkin - 1 pek

2) Lampin Pakai Buang - 2 pek

3) Diaper Wipes - 2 pek

4) Safety Pin

5) Changing Mat

6) Nappy Liner

7) Berus Lampin

8) Baldi Untuk Napkin

9) Beg Untuk Diapers

10) Detergent Khas Untuk Mencuci Pakaian Bayi

Baby Care & Grooming

1) Bedak Bayi

2) Losyen Bayi

3) Minyak Bayi (Baby Oil)

4) Tisu

5) Sikat

6) Putik Kapas (Cotton Bud)

7) Pengepit Kuku (Nail Clipper)

8) Nasal Aspirator (untuk selsema)

9) Methylated Spirit – alcohol 70% - cuci pusat sebelum luruh -(biasa dibekal oleh pihak hospital)

10) Gripe Water / Colic Water (untuk kembung perut bayi)

11) Termometer

12) Vicks

13) Minyak Telon

14) Syringe for Medicine

15) Cotton Balls

Nursering

1) Selimut

2) Bedding set

3) Play Pen / Katil Bayi

4) Mainan untuk Play Pen / Katil

5) Kelambu

6) Bakul Baju Kotor

7) Bakul Baby (Simpan Baby Gear)

8) Bakul Baby (Simpan Baby Care)

Feeding 

1) Botol saiz S - 2

2) Puting Botol Susu - 2

3) Bottle Sterilizer

4) Berus Pembersih Botol

5) Penyepit Botol

6) Sterilising Tablet

7) Nipple Cream

8) Nursing Pad Washable - 2

9) Nursing Pad Disposal - 1 kotak

10) Breast Pump

11) Nursing Pillow

12) Nursing Bra

13) Termos

Travelling

1) Beg Bayi

2) Baby Warmer for Bottle (Tak perlu jika BreastFeed)

3) MILK Casing tingkat2 (Tak perlu jika BreastFeed)

4) Infant Carrier

Bathing

1) Tuala

2) Besen Mandi

3) Syampu

4) Sabun Mandi

5) Span

6) Gayung

Extra 

1) Penyangkut Baju Berklip

2) Permainan Bermuzik

3) Bumbo Seat

4) Baby Gym

5) Stroller / Jogger

6) Penyangkut Kecil (untuk sarung tangan + kaki)

7) Car seat

8) Album

9) Beg Bayi

10) Baby Sling

11) Nursing Cover

12) Nursing Clothes / Wear

List ni copy dari blog http://mypermatahati.com. Memang panjang pon listnya. Tapi pandai-pandai la korang. Use it as a guide, jangan pakai tiru je sebijik-sebijik. Pokai la kalau nak ada semua benda. What's more, mesti ada nyer barang yang lupa nak beli nanti. Tu lah gunanya your partner, mak2 duk kat rumah bertungku je. 

Fikir pasal pantang pon dah seriau. Mula-mula memang seronok, itu ini orang tak bagi buat. Pegang penyapu pon tak boleh. Tapi dah lama-lama tu rasa cabin fever lak. Nak keluar rumah konpem orang tak bagi. Pakai pon macam nenek kebayan. Masa tu lah akan timbul konflik keyakinan diri, tambah-tambah bila laki tak lekat kat rumah. Internet? Baik tak payah..slow mengalahkan kereta api KTM.

Pagi-pagi bangun tengok orang sibuk siap-siap nak pegi kerja. Tak usah cakaplah, memang jealous tengok orang berkerja. Tak percaya? Tunggu je lah nanti. Rasa macam lembu pulak, kerja kita menyusukan anak 24 jam. Tapi bila nak habis maternity leave, bercucuran air mata sebab kena tinggalkan anak. Itulah pengorbanan orang perempuan zaman sekarang. Harap faham.

FROZEN THEMED BIRTHDAY PARTY

Yup. It's that time of the year again-your little one's birthday.

Needless to mention that I failed miserably every year- forgetting her birthday date (what kind of mother does that?), last minute preparation- I always managed to get a cake though at the very least and of course the dilemma every doctor-parents have- being oncall on their birthday.

Mia is a good child God bless her. She would be so understanding, and believed the same excuses I gave her every year.

This year though, I am determined to be the SUPERMUMMY! I am going to set up the best birthday celebration ever what's more with it being the last year she's going to be a single child.

So I have been googling and came across a few blogspots of crazy dedicated parents that threw superb birthdays for their little ones. The theme for the party is a no brainer of course:

I even got Mia all hyped-up with the idea. Turns out, this FROZEN themed party is nothing new because a lot of parents around the world had done it.

*Mia likes multiple-tiered cakes..sebab lagi besar kot

And what's a FROZEN themed party without an ELSA dress?

Mummy pulak boleh pakai cenggini:

Hahaha. Poyo.

Goodie bags for the guests:

Food and table decorations:

So far so good. Until yesterday, when I realised that I am ONCALL on her birthday again!

Major dissapointment wei..Best part is she doesn't know it yet. She's crossing her legs while browsing through youtube on my phone. Mummy feels so bad. I was trained in breaking bad news, in fact I do it so often that I consider myself to be quite good at it.

But it comes to breaking news to your child that we won't be having a themed FROZEN birthday party because mummy has work..I can't do it. Not again. Her look of dissapointment would just kill me.

Then I realised, I don't necessarily have to. I mean, she is just 4. She would believe it if I said that her birthday is next year, or we can only celebrate it every 4-yearly because she was born on 29th of February or something like that.

I know, I'm a genius. Haha.

So this year Iman Damia, even though you are born on 5th of November, we're going to celebrate it on the 5th of December (that would gives me a lot of time for preparation). Don't worry, on the actual day mummy will buy you a slice of Secret Recipe cake and pretend like you're having it for being a good girl.

Kamu tak rasa apa yang saya rasa

Sometimes I do feel like uttering these words to mak nenek, pakcik makcik who feels that I'm being ungrateful and should stop blabbering on my Facebook status about certain stuffs.

First of all, my Facebook wall is personal. There are no rules or regulations that says certain words are prohibited. It's my wall so I set up the rules, unless if you're talking against the government or the Sultan, then you get automatic ticket to the ISA and all that sorts. So much for being a democratic country eh?

Secondly, my comments are never direct. I made sure there's a bit of a twist here and there to made sure I never humiliated anyone in public. Or if I am, they wouldn't know that it's them I'm talking about. Like you think you know, but not really..

And also FYI hormones runs high when you're pregnant-the perks of having two heads in one person I guess. I do expect people to give me a bit of a lee way because I'm being childish  not of my own choosing. I was forced to act that way..by my HORMONES!

Lastly, is my last saying on this matter. Kalau rasa hurtful sangat by my saying sampai keluar air mata dan tak boleh tidur bermalam2, please..STOP lah baca! Tak ada orang paksa pon. Like this blog, I think as long as i'm not involved with the ISIS or Al-Qaeda, there is no need to make such a big deal of everything I say. It's just words, and what's more important if you are someone who truely cares about me then you should be worried about the real reason I'm saying all those stuffs. I am not going to be hanged by people who feels that I should act a certain way and follow certain norms. I am not breaking rules dan tak buat dosa, so why should I be ashamed?

Panjangnya last saying pon. Haha..

Makcik pakcik, if you could only see that you're acting like the villains in the typical cerekarama ( eg Sesuci Kasih Darmia-mak long dan mak ngah dia tu, geram betul tengok) and korean dramas...

Jadi, kurangkan kontroversi dan tingkatkan prestasi OK

List Barang Baby Untuk Di sediakan

So who says second-time parents had it easier? Well at least not for me. Hands up for being as clueless and terrified as before.

On the plus side, we are now back on our homeland..so help is easy to look for should you ask. Nevertheless, at 31 I couldn't afford being such a dummy in front of my mum or my little sister who seems to be taking motherhood like its second nature. Which, of course it should be but I guess I have no talent in this. I can read books, but the practical part is always a challenge in everything I do. (Explains why I hate Kemahiran Hidup in second grade). NERD..

So I have been doing some research a.k.a googling, which leads to the list below:

THINGS TO BUY BEFORE THE BABY IS OUT:

1. CLOTHING
    -baju lengan pendek (pakai pagi)
    -baju lengan panjang (pakai malam)
    -seluar
    -sarung tangan dan kaki
    -topi
    -sweater
    -sleeping suit
    -napkin
    -selimut

(Orang kata beli yang 0-3 months, tak besar dan tak kecik sangat)

    -pernah jugak survey kay Mothercare and Anakku. Tapi sayangku, mummy needs to berjimat sedikit dengan adanya GST tahun depan. So, we are going with more affordable, not so popular brand like Puppy Winks dan seumpama dengannya.

2. NAPPIES
    - diapers-think I'm going to stick to Mamy Poko. They said you shouldn't 'membeza-bezakan' your children. Heh.
    -wet tissue
    -changing mat

3. BABY CARE AND GROOMING
   -minyak sakit perut, cotton bud, sikat etc- no need to buy so early this one, unless there's a good sale somewhere

4.  BATHING
   -besen mandi, sabun, syampoo
   -tuala mandi

5. NURSEY/BEDDING
  -tilam tempat baby golek2, baby cot etc-this one definitely needs your granny's help. Baby cot pon dah ada, recycle from your sister

6. FEEDING
 -botol susu- sebelum balik dari Ireland, daddy ada beli botol set susu Avent masa sale, kononnya nak bagi hadiah kat baby kawan dia tapi tak ingat nak bagi. So now it's yours.
 -baby apron
 -sabun dan berus cuci botol susu baby
-nursing bra and breast pad for mummy-kena beli awal2 jugak, takut nanti daddy tak reti nak belikan

7. TRAVEL
-rasanya kat malaysia ni we won't do much travelling until you're much older. Nanti mummy kena marah pulak ngan your grannys
-but the following are a must-have:
   -stroller
   -car seat
   -NAPPY BAG
   -travel termos (dah lama tak bawak benda ni ke hulu ke hilir. Kena ada, kalau time baby melalak nak susu, kelam kelibut pulak cari air panas..naya-dah jadi banyak kali so memang banyak experience part ni. Huhu)

The hunt for diaper bags

Last week was very heavy to say the least. A lot of happenings in the family..lost of loved ones, only a month apart from each other. Innalillah.

We are also still struggling to find a maid (Sigh), let alone to come across a good one.. so we left our little one at 'kampung' for 3 days while we're figuring out options. Needless to say, it didn't work out too well. I can't believe I missed her anthics so much so that I barely slept at night. She, on the other hand was doing too well without me according to my mum.

So she is now next to me playing with my iPad, once in a while interrupting me with her demands for Milo, banana or milk. Oh Mia, what would I do without you.

Another news to share is that I am currently 30 weeks pregnant. Alhamdulillah.

So what else would I do aside from looking for the perfect diaper bag? Hehe.

I've had a couple before for Mia, none of them too fancy but most of them are not practical for me. Some are too big, too heavy, very hard to carry around and makes me feel too mum-sy. Haha. Of course some people would be glad to feel that way, but I have to work for a living and No, I would not be caught dead looking like a mother of five who barely have time to look after herself.

Hence, the search for the perfect diaper bag begins. Too early?...maybe. But I'm need an excuse to get  me a new bag. Trust me, since coming home I've been real good and only got a Burberry (as a gift) a fews months back (which is like a gazillion years ago to me).

Here are a few that's on my list:

1. Storksak Olivia

This one is quite popular with mummies out there because of the multiple convenient pockets. However some reviews online did mention the hardy straps that bites into your shoulder upon carrying heavy loads. So it's a no-no for me.

2. Storksak Nina

This one looks ok-ish and most importantly affordable. I found it selling at RM459.00 at http://www.buggybabyboogie.com/. It also comes complete with a stroller clip that you can attach to your baby's pram on a day out.

My only concern is it tends to be on the larger side for me. I can imagine it sitting on the corner; dusty and underused.

3. Storksak Emily

The Emily is one of my top of the list. What's more it was a favourite for one particular celebrity:

Angie's diaper bag? Wah, I'm feeling famous already.

Downside? It's a bit pricey and it's only available in Taupe instead of black. Taupe makes me feel old la.


4.  Louis Vuitton Totally MM

OK. So it's not really a diaper bag. Tapikan, I think the side pockets are perfect for baby bottles. Haha.

And..Mrs Pitt also has one. What can I say? We have similar taste in bags kot. (Feeling celeb la sangat kan)

Downside? Mahal doh. But I think carrying and birthing a watermelon-sized baby is nothing compared to small financial sacrifice hubs taking. (Screams- buy it for me now!)

I have yet to come up with number 5. But hey, I have 10 weeks left +/- to figure out other options. Pening. But mummy don't mind doing it for you baby.

Peace.