women talk

it's been awhile

things were great for days, then it went BAD ever so quickly

what's worse, i can't say anything about it

(...yeah, and people call me SHY)

i am SHY...but when i speak my mind my love ones tell me to SHUT UP!

ever since i was a baby, i imagine myself as someone who writes ie THE Carrie Bradshaw of Malaysia (that's right. i am HUGEly deluded in myself.haha)

little did i know, as grown women u're not allowed to

...u would think that as i work and spend nearly half of my life time abroad, i would be ever so OPEN about stuffs

i AM (sometimes)

i'm just not ALLOWED

example-

if i ramble about feeling down and stressed out (because i'm a normal human being!)...people would quickly assumed that i'm spilling out things about my marriage and how i'm never happy in it

once i wrote something about feeling únloved' (we have all had those days, haven't we?) which somehow found it's way to facebook...


and was thrashed for days for writing it

this blog is my baby..i have devoted time and emotions building it...why destroy my happiness?

(i have since shut down my facebook account. why keep something that will continue to hurt yourself?)

sometimes i'm a lone soldier fighting a useless battle...i'll NEVER WIN

..and i'm slowly cutting myself open in the process

i imagine i will get a backlash after writing this..

i DON'T CARE!!!

i have convinced myself that i am insignificant


my words and thoughts are never important (people don't consult me here like they use to do in Respiratory Clinic and that upsets me.haha.-yes. i am SUPER deluded)


so if that's true..

STOP.

 leave me in peace doing what i enjoy most

?maybe it's time to go back to work and REGAIN the little confidence that i had

in London

i am currently eating 'chocolate miniflake mini bites' from Mark and Spencer on my hotel bed (something i shouldn't be doing according to the hotel information booklet)

and i am all alone

i am in London for exam (yes, the day is finally here!)

i have just managed 13 hours of flite time, 2 hours of tube and train journeys and 3 hours of waiting at the airport..

and am absolutely EXHAUSTED!

what's worse, my body is angry at me for not breastfeeding mia-chan! and it hurts!!

i wonder what is she doing now...my dear mia-chan? probably disturbing everybody's sleep (she sleeps while cuddling and breastfeeding so i imagine everyone is up entertaining the little missy)

mum really deserved a HUGE present for agreeing to babysit mia-chan while i exam

i have taken a couple of pics of my trip, but couldn't be bothered to post them up yet

right now..what i need is a nice nap..

and mia-chan!

I MISS U!!!