women talk

it's been awhile

things were great for days, then it went BAD ever so quickly

what's worse, i can't say anything about it

(...yeah, and people call me SHY)

i am SHY...but when i speak my mind my love ones tell me to SHUT UP!

ever since i was a baby, i imagine myself as someone who writes ie THE Carrie Bradshaw of Malaysia (that's right. i am HUGEly deluded in myself.haha)

little did i know, as grown women u're not allowed to

...u would think that as i work and spend nearly half of my life time abroad, i would be ever so OPEN about stuffs

i AM (sometimes)

i'm just not ALLOWED

example-

if i ramble about feeling down and stressed out (because i'm a normal human being!)...people would quickly assumed that i'm spilling out things about my marriage and how i'm never happy in it

once i wrote something about feeling únloved' (we have all had those days, haven't we?) which somehow found it's way to facebook...


and was thrashed for days for writing it

this blog is my baby..i have devoted time and emotions building it...why destroy my happiness?

(i have since shut down my facebook account. why keep something that will continue to hurt yourself?)

sometimes i'm a lone soldier fighting a useless battle...i'll NEVER WIN

..and i'm slowly cutting myself open in the process

i imagine i will get a backlash after writing this..

i DON'T CARE!!!

i have convinced myself that i am insignificant


my words and thoughts are never important (people don't consult me here like they use to do in Respiratory Clinic and that upsets me.haha.-yes. i am SUPER deluded)


so if that's true..

STOP.

 leave me in peace doing what i enjoy most

?maybe it's time to go back to work and REGAIN the little confidence that i had