the last push

times like this would bring back memories of being pregnant again.

it really was not pretty.

i was emotionally labile, sometimes bordering to manic depressive. Any little tick would just set me off. Some would understand, some would just think i'm losing my head.

Well, you would not want to upset the little old crazy woman would you? Because that would just be the wise thing to do. Because you would understand, yourself being a woman who may have been pregnant before would you?

No

I have learn from experience that people don't UNDERSTAND that well when it comes to someone else. They tend to be the third party who want to comment and critise, but don't want to seem to get involved.

I think that's bull.

so i do get worked up when the nasty comments come in (sometimes via facebook, sometimes being relayed to my other half, which as you would expect would come to my ears eventually). I am just human. I get annoyed, sometimes i would abandoned facebook for weeks, other times i just kept my distance away from everybody..

Am doing just that at the moment

i know i'm not 100% nowadays-the studying is getting to my nerves, the exam is giving me palpitations it's hard to sleep at night, i'm missing mia-chan because i can barely see her with my work and study stuffs all piled up, i'm worried because i will have to take a flight to Birmingham then drive a rental car to a place i've never been (actually i've never even heard of it) past daytime in a foreign country (i don't even know what's the number for police should anything happen along the way!) all the while having to worry about mia-chan being at home for 3 days without her mother (need i say more?)

so i figured i'm not the best friend, i'm not best daughter, i'm not the best wife these days..i think it is best if i lay low and not talk to anybody until the exam's over

the matter of boybands

My teenage years were mostly centered on trying to fit in and surviving high school. I am not going to lie, some days were extremely difficult that i wonder how could i be what i am today. Things were just different. It was always about who is the most popular, who is the prettiest, who is the athlete, who are the perfect couple, etc. And of course, i am none of the above.

Little did i know, those things don't matter in real life (well, maybe sometimes). And..you can actually make it without having to be most popular in school.

Anyway, in those days, i found solace in boybands. BSB, N'sync, Westlife..they have been with me through all my hardships as a confused and clueless teenager. Their songs have been comfort to my ears and at times, brings out the inner determination and courage to be someone my parents would've been proud of

Which is why, I am proud to say that i love boybands. Period.

Westlife particularly, they are so close to my heart. I remember being ever so excited after i was accepted to continue my study to Ireland. Finally, i can meet Westlife IRL! i mean, it is only like their birthplace. How WRONG.

Over the last 9 years, not even a glimpse of a member of my favourite boyband.  And after they've broken up, Liyana is still here in their birth place, without ever having ever had a chance to meet them.
(I know mummy, Westlife is no more, what on earth am I doing in this forsaken place?)

Recently, i have taken a fancy on these lads..(recently being like over the past year)

JLS..

Cute faces, Abs like ironing board: yummiey..

even mia-chan is onboard

i know, i know...really need to teach her something useful like ABC or some other stuffs baby should learn

Pippa Modalu bag

super busy over the last few days..and trying to catch up with my studies as well. Sometimes, i feel like a super woman eg i managed to fill up oil for the car, so exhilarated afterwards..although i still forget which side is the oil tank is

other times, i can't help but feel so little..have so many things on hold and the many little things-to-do i've swept under the rug for now.

but as always, you can only do so much. And i need my therapy at the end of day, which is bag hunting (you can never have too many). before you say anything i know i mentioned that i will never buy another bag until i got my dream bag, but God knows before i will be able to affort it. I am not the world's most patient (surprise, surprise) It is a weakness, but sometimes it did work to my advantage as well

.
So this week, i'm looking up Pippa Modalu bag

Pippa who?

unless you're living in another planet, i'm sure you would recognize this lady

she managed to bring a new definition to a bridesmaid dress

and in case you forgot...

mind you, i might look as hot if i wear the same dress (not! haha)

being a sister to the future Queen of England, the British tabloids have been all over her like a swarm of bees

she was all over the gossip magazines and papers. and the bridesmaid dress is not the only thing she managed to made popular

meet the Pippa Modalu bag..

the classy look

i wish i have a bag named after me..

the 'i'm going to Tesco' look

since she was seen carrying this bag, it's been out of stock everywhere. I heard that she had one in every colour (she started with the shark colour, seen in the very top picture)

Of course, there's a reason i  suddenly started eyeing this particular bag


a collegue at work had managed to grab one in the shark colour.. and she specially brought it to the hospital last week just to make me jealous ( i will make you pay for this!)

Anyone interested can check out their website www.modalu.com, although you will have to be on a waiting list because they are basically out of stock in every colour they have




Okay, i know you guys are expecting big 4 figures and above for this bag, but believe it or not, it only retails for 219 euros


which if i may say, dirt cheap for a leather bag of this popularity (hence the reason they've been flying out of the shelves)

the reason i haven't got it? I couldn't make up my mind which colour to go for..I am currently leaning towards this oak one, but most of my bag are browns anyways

they also come in these colours

black

chili

what do you guys think? i prefer not the shark one, just because it can get dirty easily (i can just imagine mia chan's little fingers print all over it)

it will be a great early Christmas present (just because i don't celebrate, doesn't mean i can't get a present)

study log

clocking in my studying hours, i am

realising that exam is less than 2 weeks away, i'm putting in the extra effort

(lil' bit too late, maybe?)

any who, i am trying, and that's what counts yes?

i'm always studying!! so frustrating this business is..but i have to constantly remind myself this is one of the things that'll bring me closer to CHANEL and the rest

so do not complain!

as proof, i took pictures..

Book 1

the boring stuffs-breaking bad news, brain stem death, etc

Book 1 is awful! It is written to lullaby you to sleep..100% success rate. treuly recommend this to insomniacs out there


I managed 15 minutes of it and am bloody proud of myself


OK

Next!

Book 2: much thicker, more powerful..

seriously cannot go on for long with this one


feel sleepy just looking at it..

but, wait for it..it has pictures! LOTS of them

see those lines? i was definitely studying!

not that the pictures made any difference..BORING!


why can't these books be interesting like GLAMOUR magazine? Surely that's not too much to ask


i should stop blabbering. The fact is, i am so screwed none of these books will be able to save me

bye2x

lawa tak?

unfortunately she's not mine..well, not anymore

but i have had the pleasure of staring and hugging her for nearly a week (of the total of 2 times i took her out of the box)

i'm so depressed now that i am after losing a potential best friend

sorry honey, you're gorgeous and all, but you are definitely not good for the money

just returned her yesterday (after i had to go back and forth because i forgot to bring my laser card..yup, she definitely didn't want to be returned)

but as fate decided, we are not meant for each other

all because i cannot afford you as yet..but wait another 5 (make it 10 years. huhu)

you will forever be missed

..my first CHANEL purchase that didn't actually go through

..THE CHANEL 3 FLAP BAG

sob2x...

shopping

to be brutally honest, i hate shopping

i can't believe i ever have to say that

in my college days, even window shopping would make me grin from ear to ear..and shopping days did not come that often in those days, maybe once a month if you're lucky (my scholarship is so ciput, and i have to save for my annual flight ticket back home)

and now, when i have a little bit of the luxury that i've always dreamt of, i can't even bring myself to the shops

why?

because i'm always in a hurry..there are so many things in my mind that i cannot concentrate-need to finish my studies, need to go defrost the chicken so that can make dinner, need to prepare my oncall bag, the sound of mia-chan screaming in the background while i'm trying to find my shoe size

it is practically impossible to shop in leisure

and us woman need that right? we need to savour and enjoy shopping-it is a therapy, it is a hobby, it is so much more that men cannot understand

today however, i decided to go out and force myself to town (well, actually i was returning something that i should have never bought..wait for next post. hehe)

and while passing through Grafton Street, i suddenly felt the urge to shop again (the last time i went on a shopping spree was during Summer Sale, nearly 6 months ago)

and look at what i got

a simple shirt, but i love the black and cream colour contrast

a cream blazer that can be used on multiple occasions

and this cardigan is so pretty!

a pair of trousers for work

and of course, have to buy something for miss mia-chan-a dress!

i got all of these in H&M! That's it! H&M is my new favourite shop. i've never shopped in H&M..never known that they have plenty of kawaii stuffs (and most importantly, at a wallet-friendly price)

next, i went to a few other shops, but did not see much of what i like, but managed to grab these..

i'm obsessed with ballet pumps nowadays..dirt cheap and so comfy

this NEXT is so smart i think, bought it for the 12-18months old (mummy always pesan, if buying baby's clothing make sure go up one or two sizes because they grow up so fast)

Definitely not going shopping for the next few weeks..but can't say that i'm dissapointed in my 'catch' today. they are all classic pieces that i think i'll wear till they are worn out.

my CHANEL piggybank

i am determined and obsessed

the only way to cure this itch is to start saving

for my dream bag: Black Medium/ Large Flap Bag in Caviar Leather( take note, dear hubby)

my CHANEL piggybank is starting today.

i'm going to save (i've never saved for anything) for my CHANEL, i will go to lengths to get my CHANEL..even to the point of starving

and i promise i will never ever use my piggybank savings for anything else apart from CHANEL

in fact, no more bags until i get this one! (did i mention i'm very determined?)

so far i have 1 euro..