the last push

times like this would bring back memories of being pregnant again.

it really was not pretty.

i was emotionally labile, sometimes bordering to manic depressive. Any little tick would just set me off. Some would understand, some would just think i'm losing my head.

Well, you would not want to upset the little old crazy woman would you? Because that would just be the wise thing to do. Because you would understand, yourself being a woman who may have been pregnant before would you?

No

I have learn from experience that people don't UNDERSTAND that well when it comes to someone else. They tend to be the third party who want to comment and critise, but don't want to seem to get involved.

I think that's bull.

so i do get worked up when the nasty comments come in (sometimes via facebook, sometimes being relayed to my other half, which as you would expect would come to my ears eventually). I am just human. I get annoyed, sometimes i would abandoned facebook for weeks, other times i just kept my distance away from everybody..

Am doing just that at the moment

i know i'm not 100% nowadays-the studying is getting to my nerves, the exam is giving me palpitations it's hard to sleep at night, i'm missing mia-chan because i can barely see her with my work and study stuffs all piled up, i'm worried because i will have to take a flight to Birmingham then drive a rental car to a place i've never been (actually i've never even heard of it) past daytime in a foreign country (i don't even know what's the number for police should anything happen along the way!) all the while having to worry about mia-chan being at home for 3 days without her mother (need i say more?)

so i figured i'm not the best friend, i'm not best daughter, i'm not the best wife these days..i think it is best if i lay low and not talk to anybody until the exam's over