Ramadhan Buffet

It is the month of Ramadhan and it is also my first Ramadhan at home after 10 years.
Of course, going through Ramadhan is much different at home..firstly, it's very warm hot nowadays. 4pm to 6pm are most challenging to me. You'd be lying helpless in the livingroom OMG the thirst (and 'ketok-ketok Ramadhan doesn't help either)
What I find strange is there are more food on show compared to other months. People are selling in Bazaar Ramadhan, 'di tepi jalan' and also in front of their houses. There are food everywhere you look!
The other trend emerging nowadays are people breaking fast in hotels. Big buffet with everything you can eat on offer. Me, being a stranger to this all of course would like to try it out. So on this day (because I've just got back from MIL's house and today is Monday) I suggest to do this to all family members. And..I said I would gladly pay for it all. (belanja orang puasa kan dapat pahala).
After much deliberation and browsing the net for the best place to eat, we found this hotel which offers reasonably price Ramadhan buffet.(I'm out of work, don't expect 5-star maa..). RM46.40 per head and children below 7 eats for free. So I went ahead and book the buffet for 4 people right..
Well, let's just say that I'm never gonna be a good wedding planner or any sort of organizing.
My parents decided it wouldn't be fair to break fast somewhere that fancy without my sister and her husband who are both working today (because why they wouldn't work on this day, during margrib, of all days?)
Call me a sore pain in the butt, but I hate changing my plans..same as Mia-chan hate people telling her 'NO'.
They wanted to reschedule, but I was hit with a realization so hard it freeze my brain for a couple of seconds.
If my parents wants their daughter and son-in law to be there with them (who they last saw less than 48hours ago) imagine how much I want my husband to be there with me.  . A week of Ramadhan had gone and we haven't once break fast together. I remembered us talking about going to Bazaar Ramadhan, eating weird and wonderful 'kuihs' and..going to hotel to break fast (just one time, because it's so expensive la). We promised to enjoy this Ramadhan together because we never had a Ramadhan at home after being married. OK, I know couples always promise each other to be there through joy and pain...and he's rarely there when I'm in pain(he will disagree with this),  but I so want him to be here right now. It is hard to enjoy this without him. Oh I hate this feeling, I've never been so dependant to anybody before. Without him I feel like I lost a finger  (OK, maybe a thumb). It never can be perfect despite the circumstances..
This post is looking like 'Downton Abbey 3' now, so I'm gonna stop here.
I don't expect people to know that I miss my soulmate, to know that when I suggest going to somewhere fancy is just to bury this sinking feeling I have in my stomach with every Ramadhan that passes by -he might miss Ramadhan and we can't celebrate it together  this year:(..but I want people closest to me to understand that I miss him, the same as they miss their sons or daughters.
P/S: I'm sorry that I can't post Ramadhan buffet pictures..not until he comes home.