Low low low

I've hit the usual LOW again. Regardless of how bored and tired of overcoming this situation again and again, it seems there's no other way out of it.

This reminds me of my teenage days, where I used to lock myself in my room, stuffed my ears with earplugs and just shut down from the world for a while. It's becoming hard to do these days with a toddler following you around the house...but I still do it.

I'm always looking for a way out it seems. That's why I love my get-aways and my korean drama. Oppa and hyung took me away from my troubles for a few hours..and whenever I am in that situation where I don't like, my mind travels to these hyungs and oppas with polished clothes and bright faces.
I am convinced that it's due to the autistic trait in me-socially awkward and always dodging and hiding from confrontations and problems.

I swear when I was driving from work this afternoon I was well..I even felt a bit of a superwoman-here I am, both a single mother and a career woman..doing very well and driving my own car. But as soon as I put down that stethoscope and handbag, I am drained. This suddenly felt so tiring, putting up a 'face' all day, and back to managing a household on my own. Haihh..I really need to pull out a man from a hat somewhere. .

And so, here I am writing this in my room, with my little one's voice in the background..but still feeling sorry for myself and as lonely as ever. I am going to take a nap (or sleep), and hopefully when I wake up the world won't be as gloomy as it is now.