i miss mum

it's easy to miss mummy dearest when u're in trouble

well, i'm not exactly 'in' trouble, but life is somewhat a lot to take on at the moment

it's been a month since we've been back, and things are not easy

and true to the nature of things; when u're having problems, another problem always follows

i think 'why is this happening to me' is my favorite phrase now

and this would be followed by mum's voice in the background 'what are u moaning about, u've been blessed with more than enough already'

yes, i hear u mum, even from thousands of miles away

i have been yearning to tell mum the 'all sorts of mess' i'm in, and the list of 'Things To Do' that just got longer and longer each minute (some of them i never got around to, some of them i've been avoiding for weeks)

oh mummy, if only u're here...

sometimes, i just want to pull up a STOP sign or pause the remote button or whatever it is to get a break from all this

..what's funny is, i'm already on a break

mum..mummy..i really do miss u

life is so complicated

VERY complicated

why does it have to be this way?

i wish everything to be SIMPLE

..like ME!

now i can her mum's voice saying 'why are u wondering about things that cannot be changed, just go ahead and DO lah'

how i wish i can fly her all the way from Malaysia to Ireland

sometimes, i would look at our empty room upstairs and imagine mum is in there ( i am that bad!)

oh mummy,

i want to tell u that i'm really not in trouble (i'm not in debts, i haven't been sued nor have i argued with my BFs), but life is always one step ahead of me and i'm tired of playing catch-ups

...so don't go worrying

but it would be nice to have u here, so i can lie my tired head on your lap...just for a little while